With my husband away, it's been my duty to maintain this household, care for and overactive toddler, run a business, deal with cremation arrangements {completely alone}, and attempt to care of myself in between all of that. I somehow managed; The "how" is beyond me.
I'll be honest though; there have been several days where I've found myself in my pyjama's all day, and only leaving the couch to tend to Little Miss. Feeding myself on most days hasn't even been a priority.
For the first month, I slacked so much in the business department. Any idea how hard it is to make jewelry for new mothers, after losing your own child? It was depressing and the thought alone was exhausting. Much to my sadness I did have a 2 customers lash out at me for my slowness. Dealing with it professionally wasn't the easiest thing to do, but I managed. Luckily the rest of my customers were extremely understanding & compassionate. I even received emails of condolence from many of my repeat customers, and a few from people who were just simply "fans" on Facebook. I'm happy to say though, that I am back on track, and up to date with everything (phew!).
Housework is a completely different story though. I've managed to keep the main area's up to par, but I'd die if anyone had a peak into my laundry corner in the basement, or if anyone stepped into my studio. Yikes! Now that I'm starting to feel like myself again, the thought of those area's makes me want to scream - What I'd give for a few quiet hours to take care of that..
All that being said, I'm surprised that I've been able to maintain life as well as I have, despite the breakdowns, and hard days. They say you never know how strong you are, until strong is the only choice you have; I can't tell you how right that is. Without my faith in God over these past months, I don't know where I'd be. The strength I've been able to find in myself is quite remarkable. I know that everything that happens in my life, happens for a reason. For months I've prayed for strength, and independence to deal with my husbands absence; While this isn't the way I had wanted to gain those qualities, I have been able to stand on my feet and handle what life has given me, in a way that I never would have suspected that I could..
Amazingly enough, here is today's scripture:
“Rejoice always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances;
for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.”
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